When the Inner Critic Strikes
Everything’s going well; you’re acing this interview and the panel is nodding along. Then suddenly, BAM — you forget a word. And not just any word, but one you *definitely* know, one you’ve probably already used today. In that split second, the familiar, critical voice rears its head:
“You’re not good enough at English for this job—why did you even bother applying?”
“The panel is judging you. Who do you think you are trying out for this role if you can’t even string a sentence together?”
“You’ve been silent for what feels like ages—why aren’t you saying anything?!”
You find a way to express your thought, and the conversation continues. But something’s changed. You’re now second-guessing yourself, offering shorter answers, and counting down the minutes until you can just escape.
Meet Your Inner Critic - she's just trying to help!
Perhaps your inner critic isn’t always this harsh, but you're probably still familiar with that nagging voice that fixates on your mistakes. It can make you ignore everything that went well, replaying that one awkward moment on a loop. But what if I told you that this voice, as annoying and relentless as it is, is actually trying to protect you?
Behind the harsh critiques is your inner protector, whose sole job is to keep you safe. Unfortunately, though, your protector’s version of “safe” usually means avoiding risk, staying small, and preventing any possibility of failure or embarrassment.
For your inner protector, safe means familiar and predictable. Anything beyond that is a risk to be avoided at all costs:
Promotion to an English-speaking role? Too risky! Don’t do it!
Interview for an international company? They’ll judge you!
Presenting to stakeholders in English? You’ll stumble over your words!
Unlocking Your Inner Coach and Boosting Your English Confidence
Thankfully, there’s another, more positive voice within you: your inner coach. Where your inner critic seeks to protect you by holding you back, your inner coach is there to lift you up, remind you of your strengths, and encourage you to grow.
Here’s how your inner coach might respond:
Promotion to an English-speaking role? Your managers wouldn’t suggest you if they didn’t think you could handle it.
Interview for an international company? It’s a challenge, but you’ve conquered plenty of challenges before.
Presenting to stakeholders in English? You already use English every day—this is just another conversation. Take it slow, breathe deeply.
Both voices are there to help you, but they need to be balanced. If your inner critic is drowning out your inner coach, it’s time to recalibrate and let that more supportive voice come to the forefront.
Practical Techniques to Strengthen Your Inner Coach
Want to start building more English confidence? Here are a few ways to amplify your inner coach and quiet that inner critic:
Celebrate Your Wins—Big and Small
For a week, jot down three things each day that you did well. It could be as simple as expressing a thought clearly in English or managing to ask a follow-up question. This practice helps train your mind to focus on the positives, strengthening your inner coach’s voice.
Reframe Your Inner Critic’s Messages
Tune into those critical thoughts when they arise. Instead of letting them spiral, try flipping the narrative:
- “I can’t do this.” → “I haven’t done this *yet*, but I’ve tackled new challenges before.”
- “They’re judging me for my mistakes.” → “They’re here to hear my ideas, not to criticise my grammar.”
- “I can’t ask them to repeat that—it’s embarrassing.” → “Understanding is key, and I have every right to ask.”
Practice Self-Compassion
If self-kindness feels unnatural, imagine you’re supporting a friend instead. What would you say to them? Often, we’re far more understanding towards others than we are towards ourselves. If you resist this idea with thoughts like, “But it’s different for me,” try exploring why that feels true. Complete the sentence: “If I’m kind to myself, then…” and notice what fears come up.
Bringing It All Together: Balancing Criticism with Compassion
Balancing your inner critic with your inner coach isn’t about silencing that protective voice entirely. Instead, it’s about recognising that while your inner critic is trying to keep you safe, it’s often using outdated or unhelpful strategies. By strengthening your inner coach, you can build a more resilient mindset, one that fosters confidence in your English-speaking abilities.
You’re allowed to feel nervous, to make mistakes, and to be human. The trick is learning to acknowledge those moments without letting them derail your confidence.
Try This Exercise Right Now: Shift Your Perspective
Think back to a recent situation where you felt like your English wasn’t up to scratch or where your inner critic was particularly loud. Now, pause for a moment and identify just *one* thing that went well during that experience. Maybe you managed to stay calm, maybe you understood more than you thought, or maybe you simply showed up, despite the nerves.
Now, how does it feel to focus on that small success instead of the slip-ups?
For more information about my language coaching services, contact me at info@rhiannonelt.com
Thank you! This is so inspiring and a reminder to keep working on the language skills